


Bananas Never Split

by vchrisi



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 'It's just not realistic' dont worry, Banana Fun, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4701929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vchrisi/pseuds/vchrisi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>I WANNA PUT MY BANANA IN YOU</b>
</p><p>Harry will love this, he will absolutely love this and he will have no other choice but to fall in love with Niall now.</p><p>(Or: Niall deals with some bananas and Harry.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bananas Never Split

 

It's that time again.

It’s that time where Niall sits down and has a good think about what the fuck he’s even doing right now. He’s crushing on his best friend like mad, like he’s got nothing else to do with his life.

It’s been harder ever since the tour has started up again. Harry is constantly around him and never leaves his side – not even to sleep, they always somehow end up in the same room. Paul should’ve learned by now that booking two rooms for them is a waste of money, since they’ve been doing that for two years now. The room sharing is not helping, Niall has been more frustrated lately because of it and people are starting to notice, which is as bad as it can get.

He finds himself moving to the kitchen, where he opens his second beer of the day. The clock on the wall above his fridge tells him that Harry isn’t likely to be home for another 2 hours. Perfect.

Niall starts wandering through his flat, taking large gulps out of the bottle and actively noticing all the little things Harry has left since he’s, well, kind of moved in. There’s a guitar that is not Niall’s leaning against the wall next to his desk. It was his gift for Harry’s 20th birthday and it has never left this apartment. It's been here ever since that glorious night they both got drunk to celebrate another year passing – with too many of Harry’s movies, too many snacks and drinks and especially too many touches between the two of them.

He shakes his head and turns around in his living room, spotting a bright pair of shorts on the couch, where they should absolutely not be — whether they are his own or not (which they definitely aren’t).

Picking them up with a huff, Niall sips the last few drops of his beer and goes to the bathroom so he can throw them in the hamper. The shelf next to it is filled with all sorts of creams and perfumes Harry has collected over time. There has been an experimental phase for quite a while, with Harry changing his perfume every other week. That is, until Niall told him that he liked the Tom Ford one with the dark bottle the best. The shelf looked very pretty with all the other fancy bottles though, so he left them there; not because they’re Harry’s and he might need to come back more often to use them if he wants to, not at all.

Christ, he’s gotten himself into the worst position, and it’s not like he’s the only one to blame. Usually Niall and the other lads talk about the stuff that happens onstage, right after they come off or the next day, depending on how pumped up or tired they are, but not Harry. He’s always sitting in the corner with a dopey smile, seemingly very pleased with himself, now more than ever. Innocent dancing has become actual touching in areas he desperately tries to hide with his long shirts. Friendly banter between mates has turned into “I’d do Niall” - and the tour isn’t even halfway done.

Niall sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He’s left it to flop down over his forehead after getting out of the shower today, because he doesn’t need to be anywhere. This was supposed to be the time for him to relax, to take care of his knee, to enjoy the quiet moments in his otherwise fast-paced and loud life, but thanks to someone annoying he’s getting more frustrated by the minute.

Back in the kitchen, where he stuffs the bottle away with the other empty ones, he settles down and rests his chin on his arms, the clean granite countertops of his kitchen island reflecting the light from the ceiling. Niall needs to do something about this situation. He needs to get out of this vicious circle of ignoring Harry, getting turned on by Harry onstage, getting ignored by Harry afterwards, and then sulking and nursing his beer alone when Harry is not here with him like he usually is.

He’s startled out of his thoughts by the phone in his trousers going off. One glance at the screen tells him that it’s his brother Greg. Niall drops his head onto his arm and groans.

“Not today, nope,” is what he says. He lets the phone rest on the counter and takes another beer out of the fridge, sitting down again and waiting for the inevitable onslaught of messages that will follow this unanswered call. He honestly can’t wait.

As the evening goes on, Niall adds more empty bottles to the pile in one of the cabinets and manages to dishevel his hair completely, frustrated with himself, with his brother and the world in general. It seems like everything is wrong right now – an annoying brother bugging him, his downtime being disturbed by himself of all people and his damn crush not helping. Niall needs to decide on important matters, like the one where a very clingy best mate that won’t give him any room keeps him from figuring out if he wants to have him as his best man one day, or maybe as the man standing in front of him.

Niall’s head is spinning from thinking too much, and his stomach is making itself known with a loud rumble. He eyes the fruit bowl on the other end of the island, debating on which fruit would fit best with the taste of beer in his mouth. He gets up and woah – he’s not handling the alcohol as well as he thought he would. Carefully shuffling over to the bowl, he bends over and rests half his body on the counter. With a heavy hand he grabs a nectarine from the bowl and bites into it.

“I love you,” he declares with a moan as he nibbles on the delicious, juicy fruit like a 5-year-old. Too lazy to even lift his head, he continues to stare at the fruit bowl with the nice flower pattern.

Now that he actually thinks about it, he remembers that Harry bought it for him when he first moved into this flat. Another groan comes out of his mouth and something unintelligible like “I fucking hate you” is directed at the suddenly offending object. There are three apples, four nectarines, one orange and a whole lot of bananas in the bowl.

Bananas…

Niall hates the bowl and Niall hates bananas. All of these things make him think of Harry, he can’t get a minute without having him stumbling around in his head with his too big feet and his dumb smile with the stupid crater in his cheek and his idiot arms with weird tattoos he wants to lick all over and his gangly legs that look so good when he decides to walk around naked and his…

Well, he just drooled on his arm. This is the lowest low he’s ever reached. Niall needs to do something, he needs to do something right now.

He sits up and shakes his head a bit, trying to make the fuzzy feeling go away. He wants to woo Harry, he wants to court him, make him his honey, his princess. How does he woo someone successfully, like, what does he need to do for them to get it? He needs Harry to get it right away, Niall has never been one to cope well with rejection.

Lots of cheesy things go through his mind: A bouquet of flowers, asking him to go on a date with him, like a proper date with a kiss goodnight— or more—at the end. Oh god, hopefully more. He’s getting frantic with the ideas, his breathing speeding up just a tad bit. This is not good, this is unfamiliar ground and this is not good and he is far too drunk to think of anything. Should he buy Harry a gift? Many gifts? Harry loves gifts. Or is the way to a man’s heart through his stomach? Does that mean he has to cook a special please-be-my-boyfriend-forever meal for Harry?

Just then his eyes land on the bananas that sit innocently in the bowl again. Harry… loves bananas and Niall loves Harry—this could actually work. Well, he hopes that it works. He gets up and rummages through the one drawer in his kitchen which is mostly filled with Harry’s stuff – ironic that, until he finds a black marker.

He chooses two bananas with the least amount of stains and carries them over to the couch in his living room. Setting everything down, he starts to bite his nails as he thinks about what he could write on them for Harry to realize what Niall secretly wants from him. He stops immediately though, because he remembered that Harry had told him to try and stop his old habit.

 _Fucking…_ this idiot is everywhere in Niall’s head, he can’t get him out of it. He has no fucking clue how to go about this, but he knows that this idea is the best he’s ever had in his whole life, so he can’t fail now. 

Niall purses his lips as he thinks about possible drawings he could do. He isn’t as much of an artist as Zayn with his little doodles, but he can manage a decent sketch of a dick if he needs to. He snickers a bit. Blunt is Harry’s favourite way.

Maybe that’s what he should do though, Niall excitedly thinks as he pulls the first banana into his lap, readying the marker to write the first thing down:

**PEEL MY BANANA HARRY**

_Nice._ This is just the right amount of funny to put a smile on Harry’s face while still sending a clear message. And it’s a pun, Niall can already picture how hilarious Harry must think he is. Just thinking of all the various reactions Harry could have brings a huge smile to Niall's face.

His eyes are already dropping closed, but he wills his brain into thinking of one more phrase to write down on the other banana. Two banana puns, that should impress Harry.

His head rolls onto the backrest and he silently stares at the ceiling, deep in thought. After a few minutes of thinking and nearly falling asleep, he starts cackling about the phrase that just came to his mind. God, he’s such a genius, how is Harry not already in love with him, honestly.

With his tongue poking out and his eyes half closed, he scribbles down the second message:

**I WANNA PUT MY BANANA IN YOU**

Harry will love this, he will absolutely love this and he will have no other choice but to fall in love with Niall now.

Satisfied with his work, he settles down more comfortably into the pillows on his couch. The bananas are resting on each of his legs and Niall decides that a few minutes of closing his eyes can’t really do any harm since Harry’s not here yet.

 

Not even ten minutes later the door opens and Harry strolls into the flat, whistling a happy tune. As soon as he spots Niall fast asleep though, he stops and tiptoes over to him, already taking out his phone for a picture. His legs are spread comically wide with a banana resting on top of the right one, his mouth wide open. He hears little snores and admires the slow rise and fall from Niall’s chest. It’s the best sight he’s seen today, it’s what he loves coming home to.

Three pictures are taken and sent to Harry’s e-mail address – just in case Niall decides to go through his camera roll again. He picks up the banana that is lying on the floor next to Niall’s foot and chokes a bit when he reads what’s written on it. He carefully lifts the other banana and yes, there it is, his name. These bananas are meant for him, and Niall wrote them.

He takes the bananas with him into the kitchen and sits down. His heart is beating a little too fast and he’s trying not to jump to conclusions. But. This is so adorable, Niall is so adorable what is Harry even supposed to do with him, he wants to kill him with how cute these banana messages are. It doesn't take long for him to decide. A jump into the deep end could mean that he comes out with Niall on top? 

_Hopefully._ It’s about time that Niall shows some signs of being affected by Harry’s behaviour, he’s actually been worried with the lack of reaction coming from him, but things seem to be okay. Things seem to work in his favour.

He reaches for one of the bananas, peels it and takes a big bite. What to do now? Harry swings his foot back and forth, musing over several things he could do. An idea springs to his mind and he goes to retrieve the pen from the living room.

On the first banana he writes ‘I’m bananas for you’, and decorates it with little hearts. The second one gets a ‘Let’s never split’ and he snickers to himself, adding a heart and a strawberry next to the message.

He leaves the banana peel next to a suspicious wet spot with fleshy orange stuff and goes back into the living room, stepping behind the backrest of the couch and leaning down to peck Niall on his forehead.

“Niall, hey, wake up”, he whispers as he noses along the dark brown hairline. Niall smacks his lips together and shifts a bit as Harry continues to press butterfly kisses onto his face.

Niall grunts and opens his blurry eyes to see Harry’s face hovering upside down above him. He has to blink a few times to focus on the happy expression, but when he does, a big grin appears on his own face and he greets him with a sweet “Harry, you’re home!”

Long curls flop around as he nods and he presses a lingering kiss on Niall’s nose. “Yes, I’m home.”

Niall’s eyes flutter shut and his stomach kicks violently. Harry is home, here with him.

Wait a minute.

_Harry is home?_

“You’re home!” Niall shouts and sits up so fast he nearly knocks into Harry’s head. The bananas are not on his legs anymore, and after a frantic and short search he comes face to face with a smiling Harry who is holding two bananas in front of him.

He squints at them. _A strawberry?_ He’s pretty sure he didn’t draw things on his bananas. The message is supposed to be clear without any distracting doodles.

“Where are my bananas?”

Instead of answering, Harry thrusts the fruit into Niall’s hands, who is now kneeling on the couch. Then he takes a step back and waits.

Niall makes a confused noise and stares at the bananas in his hand. There are… other things written down on them. 

“Oh?”

Harry made his own banana messages. He needs to read them four times until he really understands them.

“Oh.”

Niall slowly lifts his head, looking at Harry standing there with his arms behind his back and looking at his boots, seemingly shy and unsure.

Before he can really think about it, Niall has flung himself over the backrest and onto Harry, clinging to him like a koala. Harry of course didn't expect him to do that, and they both promptly topple over, landing with a dull thump on the carpet.

Niall is now kissing all over Harry’s face, barely able to hold in his emotions. He can’t believe his luck, the bananas actually worked! He’s a fucking genius. This is the best day of his life, he’s going to mark this day in his damn calendar.

“Shit, Niall… Niall wait- Niall! Are you drunk?” comes from under him. Harry’s face is scrunched up and he’s staring at Niall’s pursed mouth like it's offended him.

 _Oh, this is not good._ He can’t have Harry doubting his intentions, not now.

He mutters a “Shut up, you’re drunk” and ducks down to finally capture Harry’s lips in a kiss, like he’s wanted to do for ages.

Harry apparently has too, because he opens up immediately and threads his hands into Niall’s hair to guide his lips firmly against his. Niall moans into his mouth. This is an actual dream come true for him. He’s always loved Harry’s hands in his hair, but like this… with the kissing... this is everything.

The room is quickly filled with desperate noises and Harry is rutting up into Niall even though it feels like it's been only seconds since they started. In reality Harry will probably complain about his back all day long tomorrow, but it hardly seems like he cares about that right now.

Niall is going to fucking pass out. To have Harry under him groaning and biting and thrashing around is the hottest thing he’s ever witnessed. He’ll come in his pants any minute now, he’s sure of it. 

Just then he feels hands reaching for his belt buckle and he lets out a helpless noise. Harry is going to kill him, he’s losing his damn mind.

“No, no no wait, no Harry wait-“

Harry stills his movements and looks up at him with so much trust and adoration, Niall’s heart bursts with the love he feels for his best friend. He gives him two more pecks before leaning up on his elbows. Harry tries to follow him blindly with his mouth and it makes Niall laugh. Leave it to Harry to get you from horny to fond in the matter of seconds. As he is licking his lips, he recognizes what Harry tastes like.

“Did you eat one of my bananas?” he manages to get out inbetween little giggles.

Now Harry is laughing too, with his head thrown back, making his neck long and inviting for Niall to suck marks into it. He buries his nose into the long column of his throat instead, inhales deeply and then starts to giggle again, because his whole body is moving with the force of Harry’s laughter.

“Which one did you eat,” Niall mumbles into the warm skin and presses himself closer to Harry. He feels like he’s on cloud nine, he could float away right now if it wasn’t for Harry’s hand on his hip holding him down, a warm press to remind him that this is real.

“The one where it says that I-” Harry huffs a laugh out again, like it’s the funniest joke he's ever had to tell, “I should peel your banana.”

“How did it taste?” Niall grins and sits up on Harry’s hips, swaying a bit with the movement. Harry is quick to sit up with him and hold him around his waist.

“Very good, thank you,” he smiles up at him and Niall snorts. Always so proper and polite.

“But not,” Harry continues, pressing a kiss on the spot where Niall's heart beats, “as good,” he mutters with a kiss into the side of his neck, “as you,” he breathes against Niall’s lips.

_Yeah, he wants to kill me._

He grabs Harry’s face in both his hands and surges forward, Harry pushing forward too, just as desperate as he is to get close. They fit their mouths together, tongues moving teasingly against lips, playful bites followed by groans, hands grabbing at necks and tufts of hair. It's betterthan Niall could've ever hoped for.

As they separate to get some air into their lungs, he leans forward and noses lovingly at Harry’s neck.

“How about that other banana,” Niall hotly whispers into his ear, nibbling a bit on the shell then. He can feel Harry shuddering, he can actually see the goose bumps form on his skin. It feels unreal to him that he could have that effect on Harry, when it’s always been him enduring his touches and trying not to let anyone see how much he actually loves them, loves everything Harry gives to him.

“Yes,” Harry hisses out and tries to get up, but Niall’s still sitting on top of him. They end up tangled with each other on the carpet again, both failing at getting up first and Niall’s making a competition out of it, easy with Harry, as things always are.

After a bit of playfighting, there’s a silent understanding between them and they both get up slowly. Competitive is a good word to describe Harry, the look on his face says as much and Niall thinks he understands what he wants. A race probably. To the bedroom? Hopefully.

Staring into each others eyes, they wait for one of them to move first, never breaking eye contact. 

That is, until Niall starts to laugh because he notices the squashed banana on Harry’s leg. But instead of racing to the bedroom, like Niall expected them to do, Harry grabs him and lifts him over his shoulder, carrying him to bed like a caveman.

Niall’s stomach actually hurts from laughing so hard and he feels even more drunk now than before, not because of the beers he had though. Instead of declaring his undying love for Harry, however, he just slaps him on his butt.

Niall gets thrown onto the bed and Harry gives him no time to breathe, he’s already tugging off the jeans and boxers, gripping Niall’s thighs to stop them from moving around.

“Jesus, slow down,” he warns, he’s been hard for so long, so turned on. The way Harry is eyeing him isn’t helping either. He’s too fucking drunk, this is not going to last long.

“What do you need?” Harry asks in that tone of his as he crawls up Niall’s bare legs, stroking them with his big, warm hands. And shit, if that’s not a sight to behold: Harry with his huge round eyes, seemingly reading Niall’s every thought, puffy lips ready to please him in any way he wants. 

This is reality, not his dream, and he honestly needs a moment.

“Come here,” Niall says as he makes grabby hands for him. Harry happily obliges, lying down on top of him and kissing him hard, like he needs something to convince him of the reality of this moment himself.

In no time their clothes are gone and Niall can feel every inch of Harry pressed up against him. His dick is straining for someone to touch it – and they haven’t even started with the good stuff yet.

“I don’t think I can put my banana in you,” Niall sighs, defeated and betrayed by his own body. He’s going to come as soon as Harry even looks at his dick, he just knows it.

Harry buries his face in Niall’s hot neck and laughs, delighted and loud. Niall doesn’t understand, but he pats Harry's hair anyway.

“I’m so in love with you,” he whispers into Niall’s ear and quickly kisses his way down his chest.

Niall needs a few seconds to even get what he just heard, to process it, and he is about to say something when he feels the heat of Harry’s mouth engulf the head of his dick, sucking hard from the get-go. He sits up with a shout and he swears… there are fucking stars dancing in his vision. He has to hold on to something, he has to keep it together. Twenty seconds would actually be the embarrassment of his life.

He fists some of Harry’s curls and – yeah, _bad fucking idea_ , Harry’s moaning with his lips stretched around the base of Niall’s dick and it’s really doing it for him. Harry is very good, Niall is kind of pleasantly surprised. Overwhelmed, too. The noises coming out of his mouth are getting more and more pained with every flick of Harry’s skilled tongue.

The man of his dreams just told him he loved him before he went down on him, hard. This is actually happening and before Niall can warn him he’s coming down Harry’s throat in long spurts. Everything is blindingly white and he closes his eyes against the absolute bliss he's feeling.

 

Niall thinks he blacked out for a minute, because when he opens his eyes again, Harry is sitting across his stomach, his arm muscles bulging with the effort of chasing after his orgasm. His cheeks are a hectic red and his eyes dart over Niall’s body like it will give him the answers to the universe.

Niall starts to stroke the muscular thighs next to his ribs with his calloused fingers. His head is still spinning, but seeing Harry slowly but surely falling apart above him makes him feel like someone just splashed him with ice cold water. He wants to touch every single inch of him, with his lips, his tongue. He wants so much.

Harry throws back and his neck is long and glistening with sweat from the exertion, just like his torso. He’s helplessly thrusting into his hand, his moans getting throatier and louder every second. Replacing Harry’s hands with his own, Niall fists him tight and tries to keep a fast rhythm, Harry choking back a sob as he braces himself on Niall’s shoulders.

They stare into each others eyes, both too caught up in the moment to do anything else. Niall has never looked into Harry’s eyes this way, it’s new and exciting and it feels so so intimate. There’s something desperate in Harry’s eyes and it speaks to Niall, speaks to the way Harry sometimes makes him feel. A strand of his wild hair falls into Niall's face and makes him look so debauched that he can no longer be silent.

“Fuck, you look amazing,” Niall says, the words rolling off his tongue in a thick accent, just as he strokes the spot underneath the head of Harry’s dick.

Harry nearly falls off to the side with how hard he shudders as he comes, eyes rolling into the back of his head. Gasping for air like a drowning man, he digs his nails into the skin on Niall’s shoulder, trying to ride out his orgasm. It’s the hottest thing Niall’s ever seen in his life, who even cares about his shoulders.

Harry falls down next to him, half his leg still thrown over Niall’s stomach, trying to catch his breath and blindly reaching for Niall's hand. He is more than willing to hold hands, now that they both are sated for tonight. And now that he knows Harry’s in love with him too, that all of it means something.

Satisfied with how the evening turned out for him, Niall grins and scratches the coarse hair on his chest, grimacing when he feels the mess they made there.

Harry is already reaching for a shirt that’s landed on the end of the bed and cleans up Niall’s chest for him, pecking him on his lips all the while. Niall’s chest flutters with how fond he is of Harry in that moment and he sleepily smiles into each kiss. Some minutes later, Harry disappears into the bathroom to clean up and shuts all the lights off when he returns. By the time he gets back into bed, Niall is fast asleep. Harry lifts the cover and shuffles into his side, resting his head on Niall’s chest.

Tomorrow they’ll have to talk about where they are going with this, but for now, he enjoys the reassuring thump of Niall’s heartbeat.

And if Harry comes home the next morning after his usual early run to find a banana with **I LOVE YOU** written on it and decides to skip the talking, that’s okay too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> LMAO HOW FUCKING CHEESY WAS THAT! thanks to [iva](http://niallslaugh.tumblr.com/) and [emily](http://narrylime.tumblr.com) hope you enjoyed come [SAY HI](http://parrotiny.tumblr.com)


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